Acknowledging + Releasing the Pain Body
I bless you with Love and I go FREE.
First and foremost, I just want to say thank you. I am beyond grateful for the revelations that continue to come to me. Little Kiauntae is getting taller, stronger, more resilient, more self-aware, more self-sufficient. SHE + EYE are learning how to love from the purest place in our heart.
I release my mother from this desire to love me the way I always desired to be loved. I know she did, is doing, and always will do the best she can. At her core, she is Pure LOVE and I am thankful to have come through her Divine Portal. I am the parent of me NOW, and the love I seek is ALL in ME.
I fully acknowledge the reactivation of the pain body within me a couple weeks ago. Venecia came to ME to discuss (keyword: discuss) an issue she was having at school. Coach Bibi brought another issue to ME about the heavy, stressful energy permeating the school. Then Jasmine came to ME looking for salvation from what was described as a overly critical environment at home and at school. Since the pain body was fully acquainted with the hurt of my mother's words and the harshness her tone can inflict, I flew into Super Saver mode. Dun duhdun dun! “Don't worry guys, I'll stand up to her and save the day!” Only to be dismissed, shot down mid-flight by her “passion”, and nothing was resolved at all.
NOT TRUE.
The resolution… I was reminded once more that when I stay too long, when I hold on too tight after the Most High has instructed me to Let Go, I end up with bare and bloody knuckles from scraping the ground. It is so clearly time to soar. And The People Could Fly. KULIBA, my darling. Spread your wings and fly to remind (mind again) yourself of the Glory of flight.
TRIGGER ALERT
The next time someone brings an issue to you about another, especially your mother, tell them to journal about it first. And after the initial feelings of frustration and anger are processed through pen and pad, I + EYE encourage them to calmly speak to the individual who was/is the object of their grievance.
Be still and know you are GOD (Genius On Display). KEEP shining YouR GOD Light. KEEP moving YouR GOD body, for it allows the pain body to never grow stagnant; never take up roots to the point where it festers and putrifies, stinking up the joint. Life is amazing, and all that is is in Divine Order. If it were not, it would cease to exist.
I recognize my need to save the day was deeply tied to my desire to remain free. I saw all of the grievances with my mother as a threat to our business. Then I remembered Uhuru Academy SC is NOT my business. I confused being a founder with still needing to give input, still needing to be in control. I have transcended that space and am now focusing my energy on UN-Learning to Transform. The business that inspires ME is UASC international which is just that.... International, so conduct your business, drink water and mind your business, and the rest will take care of itself.
All praises to the Most High expressing itself through ME. I am a creator, so it is my life's path to create an expansive love in all the spaces I consecrate.
I release all guilt from this GOD Body and GOD Mind and GOD Spirit for not realizing, no longer subscribing to a life that was chosen for me that I accepted as the way I had to live. I release the guilt that was bringing about shame for not being Ujima's mother, not working IN the school, not being a daughter that my mother could rely on. Writing it down makes it plain because how could I possibly hold guilt or shame for not being a daughter she could rely on when I've been exactly that for the past 7 years?!! When studying the V formation of the flight of the geese, this is the time to allow another to lead. I happily concede.
Time is NOW for me to fulfill my life's mission. To curate and create a life that I am proud of. I release all resentment for others for following their advice on how I should live, simply because I didn't love or trust myself enough to listen to my own heart. SOURCE, GOD, I am listening with an open heart, and I thank you for never leaving me alone.
Allahu Akbar
